It's been my experience throughout my years of dating, and as I talked to the men in my family, my male friends, and noticing how my girlfriends and sisters interacted with men; that connecting to the right person is a learned process. There are certain patterns to follow and others to just leave alone. Most of the men in my life said; as they finally decided to settle down, they were looking for the proverbial "girl you can take home to momma", not necessarily the "girl next door".
So ladies, when you're out on the town and find yourself in a club with your girlfriends, just become your best self, as long as the person you are really shines without being brazen or to boisterous. If you find during your fun nights out, that you can't help being loose, loud and wild, then I'm sure you've come to grips with yourself, that a special and or long lasting relationship just isn't for you, and that you are just not the marring type. Some women don't act like any of the above adjectives and still feel that they aren't the marrying kind, and that's alright to; as long as that's the perfect choice for you.
Ladies, if you know that your soul mate is somewhere out there waiting to meet and get to know you, then continue being honest with yourself and dress, act and be in a respectful manner, always, when you are in public. However, the energies that are currently being provided for us out there in the cosmos, to help us to make thing happen, just have a few rules for us to govern ourselves by.
We Ladies Are Known To Share Information Also:
For instance, one night in a club, I met a group of ladies who told me that they tried being the ladylike type, and they found that they screwed up the balance and stayed at home too long, not interacting with men or even their girl friends for a very long time, in order to get a grip of their social mannerism, but when they went out again to clubs, they felt out of sorts; not like their fun loving self, and didn't know how to interact with guys anymore, and they felt that they, themselves were too boring.
That's overkill! Locking yourself away in your home isn't the way to get on the right track. You find that you're still playing yourself cheap. That's too much to the extreme. Put one foot in front of the other; take one step at a time, i.e. go to the library, museum, get yourself jogging in the park, ride your bike through the park, etc. You don't just sit home like a frightened child waiting for circumstances to change; no, you just change the pattern of the way you do things. Slow and steady wins the race! Find balance in your life, because ways and actions speak louder than words. Believe me, you'll find the right words when you meet a potential mate or friend. Because you are steadily meeting people, guys, in your daily travels as you step out of the house and interact with others.
You can notice someone looking at you from across a room, and if you're interested, give a sweet subtle smile, as your eyes connect with his gaze, then wait about three seconds and slowly look away. This way he knows that you are interested also. If a guy is constantly only talking about himself, then he's probably only interested in himself and not worth much of your time, and you slowly and eventually turn your body or gaze in another direction and he'll quickly get the message, and move on. This way if Mr. Right is trying to get your attention, you'll be able to pick up on it, and he will know that you are merely having a conversation and it's nothing special with; Mr. Self-absorbed and he can than make his move towards you.
Remember Momma Told You about Having - Your Mad Money:
Always have your own money when going out, don't expect to get all of your meals and drinks from the kindness of strangers, because you've got to know what they are expecting at the end of the evening. How are you going to feel in the morning? If you don't intend to oblige them, then keep your own company until a gentleman offers, and then it's understood that they offered; you merely accepted and everything's all "Kool and the Gang"; so to speak!
Here's another one ladies; don't look to the advice of your girlfriends, especially if they want you to disrespect yourself by doing things that they themselves wouldn't even do, for their amusement, and talk about you the next day; because of what transpired. If you realize that after a certain amount of drinks, you act other than you'd care to remember later on; try just going out to dance off that bit of stress and flirt a bit instead of over drinking, in order to loosen up. This is another way to change some of the negative night out habits.
You will remember the next day, whose eyes connected with yours and what a time you actually had that evening. You'll come to know if this new partying method works for you, or should you continue trying it a bit longer and or make some changes. Girls, you actually never know who's watching you and is just too shy to approach you. They don't know if you are interested in knowing them, or maybe they don't approach you because you're a turn off in your extravagant manner. Some of us, with out our knowing it, appear too standoffish and give across to a guy watching us; a cold nature when they see us. This couldn't be farther from the truth as far as our personality goes.
Well, it's said that the easiest way to loosen up is to have a sort of (half smile) on your face. Not necessarily showing a toothy smile, but soften your facial muscles. It takes a bit of practice, but it works. You'll never know if you don't attempt to try something different. If you find that none of these fits your profile, but still you don't meet anyone worth knowing when you're out, try going with your girls who just like to have fun, and are not overly promiscuous in their nature as well. You see; guys still think that "birds of a feather flock together" but won't admit that to us ladies. Ask your brothers!
You're True Friends Won't Let You Down:
Friends help us, and we help them to loosen up and feel more relaxed when out for the evening. As long as they are true friends or potential new friends; try going out together and see how it goes. A real friend wouldn't try to upstage you or jump in front of you to get the attention of someone you show interest in. That person is just insecure and isn't the type you need to associate with anyway. If you have a friend who tries to make you or others the butt of her jokes, but constantly say; "Oh girl, you know I'm only fooling around" or "we're just having fun, right?" Kick her to the curve, and quickly. Cut and dry: (that's all there is to it)!
You don't need to hang around anyone who is constantly trying to tear down your self esteem.
Honestly, the dating scene has gotten much more sophisticated since we were younger. It all depends on the places we choose to frequent. The more upscale the establishment, the better the clientele. We just need to rise to the occasion, ladies. See you at the clubs!
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