We must understand that life goes on, and you can’t charge them for the way you feel. Just because you are still in love with them, and they aren’t in love with you; this shouldn’t stop your world from going round. We need to immediately snatch our emotions back from them and pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, and get on with it. They don’t get to hurt us or even to notice the hurt we are still going through anymore. Have yourself a good cry, and then that’s it. It’s time to try these instances before you just throw in the towel and start believing that there’s no one out there for you:
- First, find things to do with yourself and your time after work or school. Don’t just go home and sit around reminiscing of what use to be; between the two of you. Don’t allow yourself to be alone. Go to the Library, Museum, Book Store, Gym, Park, Bike Riding, Skating, etc., or even visit some friends that you probably haven’t seen since the two of you were together; and who are probably missing your company too.
- Don’t contact them anymore. When you feel that you just have to tell them this one last thing, and that maybe they just haven’t considered this point of view, although you know that they don’t want to talk to you anymore; don’t embarrass yourself by forcing the issue any longer. Write down every word that you want to say to them, in a letter. Be explicit, hold nothing back, I mean let them have it; just let your hand move across the paper until your wrist hurts, and your mind is empty. Now, throw that letter away. Send their energy back to the wind and the sun. This way, all of your energy comes back to you and you are ready, step-by-step to start the next process of taking your life back.
- Now you will be feeling a bit stronger and wiser for your new found strength. And after executing that last process in the breaking up stage, of letting go; where you’re concerned. You have just moved past one of the rough patches in searching for the strength to get over them. No harm, no foul.
- You will not allow yourself to become needy anymore. This is the number one human frailty that turns our mates off from us. We have to add to the strength of the relationship. They need to know that we have the complementary strength that they can lean on when they are feeling vulnerable. We cannot expect our mate to be the strong one all of the time.
- We have to find things to do with ourselves as we did before we met them. We cannot put them in the position of being the begin-and-end all of our life or our relationships. We have to have a viable conversation, of what happened in our day, to bring to the table at the end of the day, and to let our next mate know that we have other interests besides them. This gives us the God given ability to now allow ourselves to be hurt and loose ourselves in another person’s reality.
So they’re just not into you anymore, so what, life goes on. They will realize just how lucky they were to have even met you. Not holding onto you is there short coming. Your new friends will appreciate you, because you appreciate you. You had the courage and strength to find love in your world for them, and you have the courage and strength to move past them. You have a lot of love to offer the right person, and they are looking for you. Remember, in starting this next stage of your new single life; slow and steady wins the race.
You shouldn’t become a tease to all of the new people you will meet, just because of the hurt you’ve experienced from them, however, you don’t give away your all, your whole essence, to a newcomer knowing that you don’t even really know this person yet. How could they possibly deserve all that you have to offer, so quickly? The magnificently wonderful you is endeavoring to become reacquainted with yourself. Anything else will just have to wait until feelings are mutual. Accept changes with joy and not resist them so strongly. Once you realize that change is always part of life, things will work out a lot better for you. No worries mate!
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